The moment when you're just a replacement.

When the guy you had a crush on asks you out, even it's not a date, you'll feel super excited won't you??

well she does! She did feel excited.
she prepared, wore her best dress, feeling nervous and everything. All she did just to be disappointed. Just to find out that she's just a replacement. An alternative, after his first choice, his original date, his girlfriend turned him down.

They're good friends. him and her. but she had a crush on him. she likes him, and thinks he likes her too. His gestures, the way he speaks,  and he's always nice to her. Even though he never admit that he likes her, she still thinks so. She thinks he's in denial, because he doesn't want to fall in love before its time.

So that day, she went out to meet him. even it's not a date, just a regular outing. But they've never went out together. so she was excitedly nervous. she prepared, wore her best dress, put on a little make up (she never wear make up).

And so they met. He smiled, she smiled.
" I'm kinda sad today" the boy said.
"why?" she asked.
"my girlfriend doesn't want to go out with me" he said.
"what?? your girlfriend??" she laughed. thinking he's joking.
"why are you laughing? i'm serious."
"what? You? girlfriend? No way.. seriously?" she's in between shocked and confused.
He seemed serious, and she saw the look in his eyes. the being dumped look. She understands him so well, that she can read whats in his mind.

They were walking together, they eat and watched a movie. But she wasn't really there. Her mind wandered mindlessly. She's lost in her own world.

"he said he doesn't want to fall in love before the right time. He doesn't want to have any girlfriend, he doesn't want to get into any love relationship. He doesn't want any relationship commitment. And now he has a girlfriend?"

"it's okay if it hurts. i'm just happy because i get to see him. i get to be close to him"

She silently cry as she put his picture down. she hates herself for not being able to hate him. she can't bring herself to resent him even after he breaks her heart.
She missed him terribly that she cried so hard. she cried herself to sleep, hoping that day was just another bad dream.  

**the end**